The Brief Memoir of a Once Broken Kunoichi
by Malyutka
Summary: "Uchiha Itachi has always been my rival. We've fought each other since we were three and I proved I could, and would, kick his ass. Our rivalry hasn't always been friendly. There are times we've fought like bitter enemies. Yet there has always been passion between us in one form or another." Itachi/OC


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, only Takara and the plot.

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A quick note: I'm not sure how accurate some of what I've written is regarding depression. If it's wrong, I ask that you give me author's license, but feel free to point out anything in a review or PM. I'll take it into account and possibly even go back and edit it. That goes for pretty much anything, although I'm aware the timeline for Naruto is basically manipulated to my liking here. This is an AU and I wrote this as a romance, not an action fic, so that's what gets the focus here.

Thanks everyone, and happy reading.

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_The Brief Memoir of a Once Broken Kunoichi_

Uchiha Itachi has always been my rival. We've fought each other since we were three and I proved I could, and would, kick his ass.

Our rivalry hasn't always been friendly. There are times we've fought like bitter enemies, times Anko and Shisui had to step in to stop us from harming each other too badly when we got carried away.

There has always been passion between us in one form or another. Hatred at first, nothing more or less. We drove our sensei crazy because we fought so violently and so often, yet managed to work together perfectly when we needed to.

That should have been the first warning.

As the years went by we got closer and more friendly, to the point where we would lay beside each other and talk once we'd finished kicking the crap out of each other. Although some of the time we both were dragged away to get looked at afterwards. Anko and Shisui never trusted us not to hurt each other, even though we'd developed restraint as we grew up.

It wasn't until we were fourteen and ANBU captains that things really changed. We were each in command of a team, working with each other less than we ever had. It was strange not being with him all the time; over the years I had grown used to his presence. When I saw him, sparingly, we fought like always but there was an undercurrent that had never been there before, a tension that hung in the air, waiting to be addressed.

Slowly, I became more aware of myself as something beyond being a kunoichi, an ANBU, a fighter. Watching Anko and Kurenai, I began to realize I was a young woman as my body's changes became more noticeable. As I changed, the way I saw Itachi changed as well.

We would fight and I would end the match with my body trembling and my panties soaked. Every time he touched me, in violence or not, even just a brush of skin as he moved away from me, a shock would echo through my body. As time passed I began to want to fight him in bed as we each struggled for control, rather than fight him in a field.

It drove me crazy because I had no idea what to do about it. Nothing had changed in our relationship except the way I saw him. I was different and I saw no changes in his attitude. Like me, his body had changed, become more mature, more attractive. He had girls falling at his feet but that wasn't anything new. He rejected them, same as he always had, and if they were really annoying, came and found me and we fought until we were exhausted and they were off his mind.

Things continued for about four months after I began noticing him, when my passions towards him began changing. The Hokage called us in, unusual, for a joint mission between our teams. We were to go to the Nakatomi estate on the border of Hi no Kuni and Ame no Kuni, meet with the clan head and then go into Ame no Kuni to find what had happened to the man's teenaged daughter, a girl named Ami.

Everything started out okay. We got there in one piece, without our teams fighting each other. They seemed a little shocked that we were working well together, no fighting between us of any kind. The eight of them knew that we fought viciously but I don't know if they knew we'd been genin teammates. They had no explanation for why two rivals worked in perfect sync.

It was once we were in Ame that things went to hell. Apparently Ami had gone and gotten involved with the leader of a Yakuza branch and two weeks into what it was like as a mob affiliate/girlfriend/whatever, she wanted out. Luckily, this meant she went with us willingly. Of course, the Yakuza head wasn't too happy. We dealt with the hundred men he sent after us easily. The heaviest injury we took was a deep cut across the upper arm of Tankui, one of Itachi's men.

The real trouble came when the Yakuza hired missing nin and sent them after us. Two men in black cloaks with red clouds bordered in white. They caught us five miles from the estate. Itachi and I, along with Tankui, Inu, Cho, Ino, and Ookami, stayed to fight while the rest took Ami to her house. Neither Itachi nor I knew those we sent ahead were spared while those who stayed with us we doomed.

The men we fought introduced themselves as members of the Akatsuki, their names Aoinami Matsu and Iwaeki Konchuu. Both were S-ranked missing nins, the former from Mist, the latter, Iwa. Tankui and Inu died in the first ten minutes. Cho, and Ino lasted twenty minutes longer. Ookami tried to leave to warn the others but was killed nearly forty minutes into the fight. Then it was just Itachi and I, alone against two foes who had already killed five of our teammates.

I did not expect to survive that fight. I honestly believed that I and Itachi would die there together. We nearly did.

By the time it was down to us, we had at least figured out our opponents strengths and weaknesses. The problem was they knew their weak points and were guarding them. A lucky as hell Katon/Futon combo worked on Iwaeki. I still don't know how we pulled what was essentially a brand new jutsu out of our asses in the middle of a fight for our lives, especially a two person combo jutsu, but we did and it killed him. Then it was the two of us against Aoinami. He had the advantage of experience, he was stronger than us, much less tired and we were down to less than half full chakra wise. The only advantages we had were each other and eleven years of learning every move in each other's arsenal. And then there was the fact I was not letting Itachi die without a fight. I would not die before him, even if it took me shoving him out of the way of danger.

An hour and a half into the fight and we were nearly done for and we knew it. Nothing was working on him and to all appearances, he was as capable as when we'd started fighting. And then… he sent a punch at Itachi that would have killed him. I interceded and was thrown into a tree for my troubles.

The initial impact knocked me out, but I came to in time to see Itachi's furious red gaze focus on our opponent and the man burst into black flames. They didn't disappear until there was nothing left of his body. Itachi then walked over to me and kneeled down.

"You couldn't have done that two hours ago?" I said, somehow. I'll never forget the look of absolute shock on his face as he realized I wasn't dead. His eyes were huge and the pinwheels in his eyes were different than normal . His mouth opened and closed a few times before he decided on a course of action.

He kissed me full on the lips, pulling my damaged body against his own and making me forget my injuries. I don't know how long it took us to separate, but it was only from lack of air. Itachi pulled back when we could no longer breathe and we stared at each other for several minutes, him holding me up. Slowly, I became aware that my ribs were killing me and that both of us were bleeding from various injuries. I told Itachi to send a bird to get our teammates here, preferably Fukurou and Koumori, the team medics. We both needed the attention. In the meantime, Itachi helped me lie down and stroked my hair until I fell asleep, my head in his lap.

That was the day our passion became romantic in nature. When I woke up, I was in the Nakatomi Estate's hospital wing and Itachi in the bed next to me. Apparently, and how we got through this without noticing, I had three broken ribs, two cracked ribs, a sprained wrist, contusions to my upper and lower arms, a pulled calf muscle, several other lacerations across my body and a concussion. Itachi was in a similar state, minus the broken ribs and the concussion. We both had serious chakra depletion. Our medics made sure to pound it into our heads that we were lucky to be alive, that they weren't sure how we were still breathing. The Nakatomi Clan Head gave us twice the promised payment for our troubles and the medics decided as soon as Itachi and I were awake, we could leave. Between those two and the Nakatomi medics, they'd patched us up while we slept. It took another hour or two after I woke for Itachi to return to consciousness but when he did he was okay and that made me happy.

After we returned to Konoha, Itachi cornered me in a darkened hallway of Headquarters, pinned me against the wall and kissed me until I was on the verge of asking him to take my virginity against the wall. He then told me in a low voice "you are **mine**," growling the last word and causing a bolt of desire to shoot down my spine "and if you _ever_ think of sacrificing yourself for me again I will drag you back into the mortal realm and make you relive every second of what I felt as if I had done the same thing for you." He then wrapped his arm possessively around my waist and escorted me to dinner. We never mentioned that again, although he did refer to me as **his** several times, most often when we were physically intimate.

The four months after that were blissful. We dated, shocking the hell out of everyone. I'll never forget Anko and Shisui's reactions. We asked them to referee a bout between the two of us, and then after we'd finished (I'd pinned him to the ground) I kissed him hard, taking advantage of the fact I was in control and on top. We each had a kage bunshin watching their faces as we made out and their jaws touched the ground in shock. They were still gaping when I let him up and we faced them. "But… you… what?" Anko got out eventually. "We're dating now, Anko." I said as Itachi wrapped an arm around my waist. The two of them were pissed because they apparently lost a bet to Naruto about us getting together. We'd met the kid a few times and apparently he'd bet we'd start dating. Everyone else had bet against him and he made a million or more yen off of it.

Itachi treated me well and somehow we just clicked together. The synchronization that served us so well on the battlefield transferred to our relationship and we never argued over anything important, mostly trivial things that we pushed farther than we should have that always ended in furious kissing. Four months after we'd started dating properly and I was ready to give him my virginity. I loved him at that point and I knew it. I saw no reason to wait any longer. Being a shinobi isn't exactly a job with a long life expectancy and if you want something to happen in your life waiting on things doesn't go well.

Then, the night before I planned to seduce him into my bed (and by seduce, I mean simply refuse to let him stop), he killed his family and left me in Konoha. That afternoon we'd gone to lunch and then spent an hour making out in the park before he left me with a long kiss at my doorstep. His last words to me were "Goodbye, Takara-chan." I thought I would see him the next day. I was wrong.

I hate to admit this, but he broke me. I had thought… I had thought that we were entering something permanent and there was no warning to the contrary. We got along fine, we were happy, we were doing the most _amazing_ things to each other's bodies… it was great. But he left and I didn't know what to do with myself. I'd always had him. Even when all we did was fight he was still there. I had never realized how much I depended on him just to be there. He was my constant. I loved him, longer perhaps than I'd realized. And losing him made me lose myself.

In the two months after he left I lost over twenty pounds and I wasn't very heavy to begin with. I ate sparingly but exercised until my limbs felt like jelly and I could barely keep my eyes open. Things stopped having meaning because I could no longer see the point in doing them without him there.

The more exercise I had, the more adrenaline I could pump into my veins, the less I had to think about Itachi. I avoided Konoha so I couldn't see anything that reminded me of our time together; switching training grounds, grabbing what food I did eat from new restaurants and even moving apartments. I was a mess and the memories haunted me regardless. When I slept, I got there by crying and woke with fresh tear tracks on my face. Losing Itachi was not just losing my boyfriend, but losing my best friend in a way I'd never myself for. I had known we could both die at any time, I'd known that. Betrayal however… the boy I'd known, the one I'd always respected and then fallen in love with… he was loyal to Konoha. I'd known that and thought I knew him. When I thought I was wrong about him… I lost confidence in myself. If I'd been wrong about something so fundamental about someone so close to me, what else was I wrong about? I stopped trusting everyone, including myself.

My mission reports became sketchy on details and I stopped being cautious on missions. I was running solo: my team was combined with Itachi's after the Nakatomi mission and then I disbanded it when he left. If I couldn't trust my own decisions, I couldn't trust myself not to get my teammates killed with bad orders. I did solo A-ranks and S-ranks in record time, completing them all. I nearly got killed multiple times but the thought didn't faze me. The adrenaline rushes cleared my head and danger was the only thing that triggered my brain out of the haze I felt I was living in.

It took me collapsing in the middle of a briefing for anyone to notice something was seriously wrong with me. Most thought I was fine because I looked it. I ran missions, I did my training, I didn't cry at random times and the clothes I wore were loose and covered how much weight I lost, especially once I started wearing a set of armor under my tank top. The two that knew me best -Anko and Ibiki- were too busy and I purposely avoided them. When I fainted in the commander's office from hunger and a cut I'd forgotten to look at, the commander decided that was enough.

He sent me through ANBU training again. Normally this would've been pointless -in most areas it was- because I knew everything they had to teach me regarding combat. However, that wasn't why they wanted me in there. For one, I could help the instructors teach, something they were grateful for. The real reason was because they checked me over and decided I was both anorexic and depressed and since I was too powerful an asset for them to lose, they needed a way to fix me. Putting me back through training made it so they had eyes on me around the clock and they had a chain of command whose orders I had to follow dictating my schedule from when I ate, to how much I slept, and how much time I was allowed to train. They also forced (and by forced I mean chained me to a chair and slapped suppression seals on me) me to go through therapy.

It worked, for the most part. By the time the new recruits were done, I was back to the lower end of a healthy weight for my age and height but still thinner than I'd been before. I'd also become the younger sister to twenty men and women three to eight years older than me. I assume some just pitied me but the others understood in some part what I was going through. Quite a few kunoichi out there struggle with anorexia; society's demands that women eat less than men mixed with training results in underfed kunoichi, especially if they come from civilian families. My reason wasn't that –I never had image issues- it was more a side effect of the depression. I was trying to use exercise to cope (I use cope here in a very loose definition of the term), and by the time I ran out of energy, I was ready to fall into bed. Eating fell down my list of priorities. Depression is also a common problem in the ranks: if you spend your life killing and watching your friends and family die, it gets to you after a while. Most shinobi pick up quirks in order to cope with the stress; Maito Gai's philosophy of youth, the porn addiction of Hatake Kakashi, the Sandaime and Jiraiya, Senju Tsunade's gambling addiction, the list goes on. I was a good deal younger than most of them and my entire life had been devoted to my career. My outlet was fighting Itachi, physically or verbally, because that was the only one that had been deemed acceptable.

One of the things I was forced to do in therapy was find an outlet that didn't involve exercise, training or fighting, these being deemed 'unhealthy'. Healthy habits (and healthy is a very loose term where ANBU therapists are involved, apparently) included sex, painting, pranking, collecting rocks, tea ceremonies, fashion design, kabuki, cross-dressing, music, fortune telling and writing. I was banned from picking pranking back up- I'd used it as a form of revenge in my earlier years and few of my pranks were legendary. Most of them were committed against Itachi and he deserved every one of them. Scout's honor. I threw most of the rest out; my artistic ability ranked on the level of a five year old, or Picasso, but then again I think Picasso worked on the level of five year old, so there's not much difference. Music didn't really interest me, although I wasn't bad at it. I'd never been particularly girly or traditional. Sex was out as that required both trust and a partner. I was left with writing, which ended up working well for me. As you can see.

My therapist made me start to keep a journal, which she flipped through to make sure had content, although she didn't read it. My entries were short at first, but got longer. When I finally broke and began writing everything I was feeling, my entry scrawled across fifteen pages with various sizes of handwriting. Two pages simply read "I love him" in the largest font possible. When I was given prompts in my sessions, everything at first was dark. It stayed that way for a while.

After the first training, I was allowed back into the field, but only with a team and I wasn't in charge. I refused: I still wasn't trusting my own orders. Therapy continued and my mission frequency was regulated carefully. When the next training cycle came around, I was shifted back into working with the new recruits and when they were put into the field so was I. This cycle was a seasonal one: Winter and Summer I spent training, Spring and Fall I was in the field. It was steady and regular. The regulation helped and I was constantly busy. They made sure I had plenty of work to do, from training, to missions, to teaching, to helping Taichō-sama with paperwork. Starting when I was fifteen, I was allowed to train as much as I wanted provided I ate accordingly and I took advantage of it to become as powerful as I could be. The recruits liked to 'take care' of me, especially some of the women, who took it upon themselves to make sure I had a full wardrobe and that I socialized, in addition to most of them watching like hawks when I ate. More than once a few of them teamed up to carry me out of my room (I'd moved into headquarters full time) and forced me to do something that wasn't a solitary pursuit.

Eventually I started to trust myself again, not necessarily my judgments of people, but at least my orders in combat. As I ran many missions with the rookie ANBU, they turned to me looking for advice. They trusted me, they trusted my judgment and they trusted my orders to get them home safely. When command was turned over to me on a mission gone to hell (unexpected circumstances are the death of many shinobi, and they are a bitch to deal with), I did what I thought was right and got us all home. After a few more missions like that, I started believing in myself, enough that I was given command officially more often, unless they were specifically breeding leadership in a recruit.

At seventeen, the Hokage decided to shake my schedule up a bit, something that pissed off the entire ANBU division. The lot of them liked taking care of me, even when I got annoyed at their mothering. To have the Hokage interfere meant that I would get off schedule and they thought I'd have a relapse. They'd spent too much time making my life livable to have things go back. I was grateful to all of them, I am grateful to all of them. They spent years keeping me alive by giving me a purpose again, making my life more than just training and missions. My writing lightened up and often turned to stories of others' happiness. I was never truly happy -not the way Itachi made me- but they kept me from being absolutely miserable or killing myself. With them, I was content. The depression wasn't gone entirely, but it was subdued.

The Hokage pulled me from ANBU to have me train a team of genin. Specifically, the team of Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and, well he wanted me to take Haruno Sakura. Kakashi was the only other shinobi in Konoha with the ability to train Sasuke in using a Sharingan and my former ANBU captain had gone on a mission that had become complicated and he wouldn't be back before the new genin graduated. If he couldn't have someone _with_ the doujutsu, he at least wanted one with heavy experience working with it. I fit the bill better than anyone, and I had a large, working knowledge of Uchiha clan taijutsu and techniques. I was not given any more of a choice in accepting them than Kakashi would have been. I did switch the Haruno for Hyūga Hinata. I spent a day watching the three he wanted me to take while they were at the academy and flat out refused to take the pink haired girl. She would have taken Sasuke's side in everything and I never would have gotten a decent amount of teamwork from them. The Hokage gave me what I wanted since he saw the point and really didn't care if Kurenai was pissed off because of it.

My ANBU were no happier when they found out exactly whom I was training than when they found out I had to train a team in the first place. I thought Taichō-sama would throw a fit when I told him. Ever since I collapsed into his arms, he's looked after me, and it's thanks to him that my schedule was orchestrated and was able to be kept the way it was. He's the ANBU Commander, people don't argue with him. He told me to go work with the new trainees and disappeared for two hours. When he came back, well, I still had to train the genin. He was furious about it, but he still came up with a way to keep an eye on me. His idea: induct the genin into ANBU. They would become trainees and I would do my job as an instructor. They still got trained and I still got watched over.

So the three of them graduated, even if Naruto did so unconventionally, and after I picked them up I dragged them to ANBU headquarters. Taichō-sama told them, "Since the Hokage seems to think he can steal my best instructor, I'm stealing her back. As such, you three are now under my command. You answer to her, then to me, got it?" I think the three of them were shocked at that, but they all nodded vigorously. They were the second, fourth and fifth youngest members to ever be inducted into ANBU, and the weakest. Itachi and I could at least kick people's asses when we joined (he was the third youngest, I was (and am) the youngest inductee).

My new "Team baby-ANBU" were forced to move into the barracks with all the other recruits. Being a kind sensei, I made sure they avoided the worst of the ribbings, teasing and pranks (although Naruto did do a prank in retribution of one that was the best thing I'd seen in ages). Rather than do those boring D-ranks and half-assed training sessions, I ran them through a slightly adapted ANBU training course while the regulars, as they began to be called, did the full. The only slack I cut them was because I knew they couldn't keep up, but by the end of the three month session, they were up to almost half of what the others could do. I must admit I was proud of them. I was working them into the ground, and forcing them to do therapy sessions (dear kami-sama did they need them as much as I did, and that was before they ever killed), and their lessons on paperwork, tactics and other things shinobi who live to make ANBU the regular way know.

After the training season, the commander had us move into doing missions. He really was determined to keep me on schedule. I think it made him happy that I'd pulled off the genin training so well and that I hadn't had a lapse while doing so. Omoi, the training psychologist, assured him that my mind was in as stable a state as it ever was at that time, even with the near constant reminder of Itachi that came in the form of his younger brother. Of course, what they didn't realize is I was more than capable of tricking them into thinking that by that point. Enough years of therapy and you learn how to fake what they want to see. At the same time, it was not as bad as it could have been. Sasuke and Itachi don't really look that much alike and their personalities are polar opposites. What was actually harming me was that Sasuke wanted Itachi dead and I was setting him on the fast track to doing so.

I proved at fourteen that I loved Itachi enough to give my own life for his. Even when he left Konoha, I still loved him; it's why not having him shattered me. Now, years later but still in love with him (at least, still in love with the person I remembered him to be) I was teaching his brother the same things Itachi knew, and in doing so, how to defend against them. My mind was plagued with visions of Itachi dying at Sasuke's hand, only for it to turn out to be mine instead. I had to fight to do the right thing and help the kid while fighting the part of me that wanted to sabotage him.

Speaking of sabotage, I discovered that was all my fellow blond knew. Apparently, all his instructors had interfered with him learning anything of note and the only things he could do properly were a few tricks I showed him when I babysat him with Itachi, and pranking. And if I remember correctly, the pranking may have been my fault… or Itachi's really. If he hadn't pissed me off when I couldn't fight him due to medical restrictions, I wouldn't have pranked him, and if I hadn't had to prank him, Naruto wouldn't have learned it by helping me do the prank, because most of its components were beyond what I was allowed to do. So… yeah.

Anyway, I spent a lot of time helping Naruto catch up, not just with the basics of shinobi life, but regular life as well. He had no social education, whatsoever, and his reading, writing and math were far below his age level. I enlisted Hinata's help with most of the social aspects. She had a crush on the boy so she was more than willing to help him in any way and it pushed them together which amused me. Matchmaking them kept my mind off my own troubles which was somewhat healthy for me. In my opinion anyway. I wrote a few interesting stories about some of the mishaps that happened to them when Hinata was trying to explain things and Naruto misunderstood key points.

When my missions' season came about, I felt confident I could start them on C-ranks without much of a problem. Being attached to ANBU meant that the commander gave us the missions, and unlike normal ones, he vetted these himself. ANBU missions are much more likely to actually be the right rank than others. At least mine always are and have been at least since Itachi left. Even before that they were usually right and the only ones that were upgraded usually were my fault in some way, or happened due to unforeseen circumstances that didn't have anything to do with the mission at hand. Like pissing off an A-rank missing nin…. Anyway, I thought that with the training they'd had everything would go fine.

And for the most part, it did. The missions that we were assigned were primarily courier or elimination missions Taichō-sama grabbed from the regular missions distribution, vetted, and then handed to me. The first few we took were courier missions, which gave me a chance to get them used to fire country's terrain and the way shinobi travel. Then we started doing elimination missions in which we were tasked with clearing out bandit camps. They were assassination on targets with little ability to fight back against shinobi, and missions I could have done alone if necessary. The first one all three of my genin made their first kills, one each, and then I took care of the rest before getting them through the feeling of taking another sentient being's life. Once we'd been given a few of them, they took on more kills, more of the work a shinobi is tasked to do. There is nothing pretty about it, but we do it for our home and those we live to protect.

The first cycle was going as well as could have been expected until we ran into two Akatsuki members who wanted to take Naruto from me. It took me half an hour to fend off both and kill one of them, a man named Yakura Sasumori, while his partner, a plant-man called Zetsu, escaped. I surprised myself by not getting badly hurt while fighting them: the worst I had was a somewhat deep cut to my forearm I had to take in order to stab Yakura in the heart. Compared to the first time I killed an S-ranked missing nin, that went well. I wasn't anywhere near as tired either.

However, my physical wellbeing had nothing to do with my emotional state. Once I had the kiddies calmed down and tucked into bed I made a bunshin to take my turn of keeping watch and I cried myself out. Fighting those Akatsuki members reminded me of the Nakatori mission, which ended up starting my relationship with Itachi, and the kiss that sparked it all, a kiss so furiously passionate that it can arouse me just by remembering it. Then again, any kiss of his that lasted more than a moment can say the same; for those brief months we were together, we were not afraid to show how we felt and we were all over each other. We heard the phrase "get a room" so many times. Having all those memories pounding at me ripped at the emotional scars I carried and almost triggered a full relapse, and probably would have if I hadn't needed to focus on getting my genin to Konoha safely.

Reporting that disaster sent Taichō-sama into fits and put me and my team back on training two weeks early. I was also ordered to report to Omoi immediately after medical finished dealing with me. I wasn't in any condition at that point to throw up false fronts and he helped me through most of it before handing me sleeping pills and telling me to get some rest and report back to him the next day. I'm pretty sure he spent the rest of that one handling my genin.

The next training session went even better than the first and by the end of it the three were probably at the equivalent of high chūnin. I had them working as a fully cohesive unit and the commander praised me for my work with them. Hinata was even to the point where she did not blush around Naruto, something was specifically said to trigger such a response. Our new missions' cycle went well until the Hokage called upon us to take our 'first' c-rank. As it was not an ANBU mission, it wasn't checked and everything went to hell in a hand basket quicker than I could have said 'konohagakure no sato'. The mission to Wave came with one benefit: Sasuke got his Sharingan. Previously, he had never been under the threat levels that activate it, a sign that Taichō-sama and I were doing our jobs properly. To me, what was a great joy to him was a curse; he now could look more like Itachi and I nearly slipped up and called him that more than once when he had them activated. The generally plus side of the mission was that all three of them got combat experience against high-level opponents and they learned how to protect a client, something they hadn't done with our usual missions.

After that hell-mission (all missions with unforeseen circumstances are hell-missions), Taichō-sama informed me that my unit was to take the chūnin exams that would be held within the village and that I was to nominate them that afternoon. When I asked dryly why I was nominating them if they were to be ordered into the competition, I got a smile and a one-word answer "politics."

They all did well during the first and second part of the competition, finishing first and breaking the record. All three managed to make it through the preliminaries, Hinata managing to beat her cousin in a match, while Naruto ran roughshod over an Inuzuka and Sasuke decimated an older Konoha nin. They proved their superiority compared to their age mates and the other jōnin were wondering how I'd done it, especially Gai, who looked at me like I'd told him that spandex was the farthest thing from youthful in the known universe. I almost felt bad for him, he had the non-rookies and they all got their asses handed to them. Kakashi, who had finally finished his damn mission, was also there and he gave me a look that may have something to do with the fact Naruto's tactics were ANBU-based but twisted with his own stuff. I trained him well; after almost a year with me, the boy actually _thought _instead of just cloning and punching until something happened.

It was not until the month was up and that damn invasion occurred that things got tricky. My little genin did well in the third stage; they dispatched their opponents quite easily (Hinata had the normal sand boy, whose tricks didn't work with her eyes, Sasuke had the sand girl, whose wind jutsus failed when met with lightning and a little strategy, and Naruto had Shikamaru, who isn't a match for Naruto's off the wall strategies, unpredictability can't be seen three moves ahead). Then during the invasion itself, they took care of the Suna Jinchuuriki, capturing him and his siblings.

I had ended up guarding the Hokage, don't ask me why, and ended up trapped with him, Orochimaru, and a bunch of dead Hokages. We prevented the Shodaime and the Yondaime from making an appearance but the Nidame and the Snake Sannin skill were around to make things difficult. I shocked the Hokage by being able to hold my own against the Nidaime and managing to destroy the tag that was animating him. I then helped the Sandaime against Orochimaru, who left soon after. The Hokage was exhausted by the encounter (life-threatening at his age, but he pulled through) and Orochimaru had his arms sliced off. I came out of it tired, with a lot of bruising, a few scratches, and chakra exhaustion, but nothing life threatening.

My role in the invasion caused me quite a few problems. See, up until then I was purely ANBU, hidden from sight and out of everyone's mind. Very few probably realized I was still alive and many actually thought I'd been killed by Itachi when he left as I withdrew from public life. As my genin had been in ANBU since I took them, and I was protected there, no one really knew who I was. Even though I was wearing my uniform and mask, the Hokage blabbed my name (another reason Taichō-sama got pissed that day) and I nearly got forced into taking over as the next Hokage (the main reason he got pissed) when the council started throwing fits about having an elderly Hokage incapable of killing his former student, an S-ranked mission nin with a vendetta against Konoha. If I had become Hokage, my routine would have fallen to pieces and I would have probably killed myself. Being Hokage is a stressful job and I wasn't qualified for it in the ways that mattered. For one, I wasn't mentally stable (I still had no rock, most of my progress mentally had to do with stubbornness, my own and everyone elses). While I was physically powerful and known to the shinobi elite, I wasn't internationally known unless someone wanted to disclose my ANBU records which would have assassins after me as soon as the other countries got wind of it: I've worked extensively to sabotage every other shinobi village there is. Finally, I might mentally be able to kill Orochimaru, which the Sandaime couldn't do, but I wouldn't ever be able to kill a different S-ranked missing nin even if I tried. I managed to avoid a promotion, but only because I convinced him I lacked experience and the strong reputation needed and that someone else, say Tsunade, would be better.

Jiraiya took Naruto and headed off to go see if he could talk her into coming back, with an order from the Third to use if they were desperate. I let Hinata spend some time with her family as her father took an interest in her once he realized she was a good kunoichi (although I had her checking in with me once a week just in case) and Kakashi had stolen Sasuke to train him in his Sharingan. I was relieved of my little genin quite suddenly. Then a day or so after Jiraiya had left, Taichō-sama, Kakashi and I were going to meet up at a teahouse to discuss the possibility of giving Kakashi the genin he was supposed to have originally if the Hokage didn't promote them to chūnin. That conversation never happened because we ran into a pair of Akatsuki members: Hoshigaki Kisame… and Uchiha Itachi.

I nearly shattered when I saw him in that cloak, wearing the outfit of the group that had nearly killed me twice, nearly killed us both. I froze up, and they slipped out of the restaurant. Kakashi and Taichō-sama trailed them to a lake and I followed them a few paces behind, moving on autopilot. They hadn't seen me, I'd been behind the men, and they left through the back.

When I did arrive, they were busy talking. Well, Taichō-sama was yelling actually. Apparently, he'd been preparing a speech for years on all the crap Itachi did to me by abandoning me. I spent the rant watching his face as he was -and this is the only word for it- scolded. He was shocked, I could tell, hell, even the others who lacked the training with him could probably tell. Once Taichō-sama was done, Itachi's gaze shifted from him over to me, standing at the edge of the water.

He ended up in front of me in a matter of seconds and I nearly stopped breathing. He was tall, much taller than I was as I'd grown only an inch or two in four years and he'd shot up. Once he removed his cloak, something I was grateful for, he wrapped me in his arms and I relished the feeling of having him around me again. I reciprocated slowly and he buried his face in my hair, murmuring my name. I simply buried myself deeper into his embrace, locking our bodies together. My heart and my head were in overdrive, fighting each other to see what I would do next. I knew I needed him. That became apparent sometime around me breaking down because he was gone. I also knew we were enemies, that he had betrayed me. Yet he had initiated this hug… so did he still feel something for me? Had the words of his former commander really pushed at him that much?

I was crying before I even realized it, clutching to him so tightly nothing could have parted us. I wanted to yell at him, to scream and beg for him to explain everything; why he'd left, if he was still the man I loved, if he would hold me forever…. I was slowly turning into a mess, emotions I couldn't handle pouring out.

"Takara," he murmured again, pressing his lips into my hair, my temple, my forehead. One of his hands moved to my hair, stroking it soothingly. I tilted back my head and asked the only question I could manage.

"Why?" He looked at me then, just staring into my eyes. And then he looked at my commander and said he'd bring me back soon, not to worry. I didn't see anything after that: he'd knocked me out.

I came to in what was obviously a hotel room; later I found out it was one village over from Konoha. He'd stolen my shirt and pants and hid them so I couldn't leave and was patiently waiting for me to wake up. He also had food sitting next to him. Without speaking, he split everything in half and handed me a plate with rice, beef, and steamed veggies. I took the proffered chopsticks as well and began eating, my stomach actually perking up at the sight of the food. It was the first time in years I'd actually been hungry, rather than simply eating because it was time, or because I was being told to. He watched me eat as he did and smiled when I'd finished almost everything on the plate. He finished it off and put the plates on the table in the room. He rejoined me on the bed and I laid down beside him. Itachi turned onto his side and started tracing my ribs, a frown on his face. I was busy trying not to become aroused by his movements.

"You're too thin." He spoke eventually, his hand stilling on my hip. Really I wasn't by that point, I was within the acceptable range. I was a good deal thinner than I would have been without the eating disorder and depression, but I was healthy at least.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me." I replied, my lips twisting into a mocking half-smile. He growled then, much like he did before, the first time he claimed me. His lips crashed onto mine and his body shifted to press mine into the pillows. I let my lips respond and the kiss deepened. The passion in his touches was fire to me, almost unbelievable after years without him, years without being touched or loved.

His hands roamed my body freely, caressing as they went, lingering on spots that made me moan into our kiss. His memory was as impeccable as ever and he brushed just enough pressure over the spots I am most sensitive to make me squirm under him. My own hands went first to his shoulders and then into his hair, keeping his lips on mine. It was several long minutes of our tongues touching, sucking, twisting, brushing and fighting for dominance before the need for air broke the connection, just as he'd removed my bra and begun to massage my breasts. He had me wet, needy and _his_, completely consenting to whatever he had planned.

The look he gave me then was enough to increase my wetness twofold, full of absolute hunger for me. I knew then that what I had wanted all those years ago would then be mine. I accepted it and reveled in it. I was riding a high of pleasure and happiness after years of depression. Had I turned to sex for comfort, it wouldn't have been so, but the fact I'd refused most physical affection left my body starved for it and Itachi was more than willing to make up for the time apart.

Slowly, watching my expression, he brushed a thumb across the pebble that was on my left breast and as he did, my body jumped, my hips rocking into his. His eyes flashed and he crushed our lips back together. I separated us, causing him to glare at me, but my action was explained when I pulled his tank top up and over his head. He nodded and my lips met his again, pleasing him if the smirk they curved into was any indication.

I traced my hands across the planes of his chest, reveling in the feel of his soft hair and firm muscles. Itachi works himself just as hard as I do and the results, on him anyway, are spectacular, most would say because he's male and eats three to four times what I do on a regular basis. His own hands were on my back, skimming from my ass to my shoulders and back again, looking for soft spots to make me moan. Every time he hit one I would buck and whimper, causing him press harder on the spot as my breathing became more and more irregular. His goal was my submission. It's what he's always wanted, what he fights me for. And in this scenario… I gave it to him. It had been so long since we'd been together that I couldn't help it, that I craved what he wanted from me. I needed him in any way I could have him and it mattered little if I had to give in to get him. And get him I did.

"Itachi," I moaned out his name as his lips moved to my neck, sucking and nipping down the side, heading straight for my pulse point. He reached it and laid a feathery kiss on top of it before pulling back. He looked me straight in the eyes, his dark with passion and a hint of something more. "You are **mine**_, _Takara, **mine**. Understood?"

His words, repeating _that_ word twice, had me craving the touch he'd suddenly withdrawn. "Oh, Kami yes, Itachi, **yours**, always **yours,** I promise."

"Good." He nipped at my pulse point. "You _will_ from now on eat healthy portions and not train yourself to death. Understood?"

"Ita-chi," I began, my eyes half lidded.

"No, promise me. Or I will make you suffer the same consequences I promised for throwing yourself in front of me."

"I don't…" He bit down hard on my pulse point and my body bucked as my eyes rolled back.

"Promise," he growled at me.

He then withdrew from my body, separating us almost completely. I've done anything if it would get him on me again. I gave in, "I promise."

He kissed me gently, giving me back the contact I needed, "good girl. Now, repeat after me, "I am a beautiful, amazing, incredible person whose life is important to everyone I know"."

I laughed at him saying that but he pulled back, raising an eyebrow. I pouted, but he narrowed his eyes and I obeyed.

My reward was a hard kiss I whimpered into and my panties disappeared. I used my own hands to fumble at his pants and he kicked them off. Another moment and his boxers disappeared as well. Our bodies pressed together and we both moaned, our lips moving together and our hands roaming everywhere. I couldn't get enough of touching him, of having him touch me, of being surrounded by his warmth and weight. His hands were on my breasts, kneading them, pinching them. Mine were on his back and chest, scratching or soothing depending on whether or not he was letting me think a little or not at all.

When he moved his lips off of mine and to my neck, kissing down it and then finishing the creation of a hicky on my pulse point, my body to arched underneath him. Afterward he moved those amazing lips down to my left nipple and began sucking hard on it. I moaned and murmured his name. "Fuck, Itachi!" I swore at him.

"Do you like this my love?" He asked me as he shifted over to my right breast and repeated the treatment. I made a small noise in agreement. His lips moved southward as his hands moved to my thighs. He was teasing me, his lips on my stomach while his fingers stroked my inter thighs, taunting me by moving up but retreating before they reached my center. Finally he spread them wide before using one long finger to stroke my pussy. I bucked into his hand at the sensation of his slightly calloused digit running against my already soaked center. He took the fact that I was already dripping wet as invitation to slowly bury a finger within me and place his thumb on my nub. My hips arched and his free hand pinned me down to the bed as he moved the digit in and out of me, stroking the center of my pleasure at the same time. "Itachi, please," I panted, holding off a whimper. He smirked, eyes sparkling.

"Please what?" He asked and I gave him a half hearted glare that vanished when my eyes rolled back in my head as his thumb pressed down hard.

"More," I begged him, and he slid a second finger inside me. My walls stretched to accommodate it and my eyes shut at the onslaught. It felt amazing and all I could do was clutch at the sheets. Being filled this way was an entirely new sensation and one that made it hard to think.

When he slid out both fingers and removed his thumb and I twisted my hips, looking for the friction, and blinked up at him. He smiled and stuck his soaked digits into his mouth, sucking on them in what had to be the most erotic sight I'd ever witnessed at the time. Then his hands went to my hips, pinning them in place and that sexy, masterful mouth of his made its way from my navel to my pussy. He delved his tongue between my lips and flicked it against my nub. My hips tried to lift off the bed but his hands were strong and kept them in place as he tormented me by flicking against my nub and then going lower and deeper with that sinfully skillful tongue of his. Eventually I couldn't take it and I begged him to take me. "Please, Itachi, please!" I moaned out between my pants. His response was to move his tongue back up to my nub and flick as fast as possible while fingering me with three of his long fingers. It took only a minute of this before my body arched up and my vision blacked out as I orgasmed hard.

That's when I felt him slide into me, one slow stoke that broke my barrier even as my walls trembled. All of a sudden the connection we had always had was ten times stronger as our hands twined together and his lips found mine. Our bodies were connected at every point possible and I loved it.

"Itachi," I gasped, even as he murmured my name between kisses. He was still within me as my walls tried to adjust, even as my orgasm receded. He was still a moment longer, than another, before I rolled my hips experimentally. It hurt, but not as much as it would have if he'd waited until after I was off my high to enter me.

"I love you, Kara-chan, so much, so much." He murmured into my ear as his head fell to bury itself in my neck. I froze in his arms in shock at that; he'd never admitted he loved me, not then. He started to pull away and out of me but I tugged him back.

"I love you too Ita-kun" I told him, smiling, and I could see the surprise, the hope that flickered across his face. He kissed me, lightly, and then pulled out and slid back in. The pain was there, but I'd rather have him in me than away from me.

He made love to me then, slowly and sweetly. From the violent passion we usually display, I never would have expected our first time to be slow, loving and beautiful. In my imagination, our first time was furious and violent, a natural progression of our fighting on the field into fighting on my bed. Then again, I never expected him to be a missing nin the first time we made love, I never thought that I'd have fought through anorexia and depression first, and I never thought that we'd do it with four years separating us from when we last saw each other and almost no words first. The passion from before was still there, but rather than explosive and urgent as it had been, the admission of our love made it slow and sweet. It was blissful.

As he neared his limit, his pace got more erratic and one final stroke and his fingers had him driving me into a second orgasm as he finished, spilling deep within me. He collapsed on top of me, but quickly rolled us over so I was lying on top. We fell asleep cuddled together.

The next morning I woke up to the feel of his chest rising and falling under my head, the sound of his heartbeat under my ear and the firm length of his body under mine. It was spectacular, the contact enough to have me nearly purring in happiness. I stayed there for what must have been half an hour just reveling in the feeling before he woke up.

"Good morning Ita-kun," I said, shifting up so I could kiss him softly. He kissed me back sleepily and then jerked into a sitting position once he realized what was going on. I tumbled to the side and he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Takara-chan?" he asked reaching for me. I placed myself into the offered arms and nodded against his throat. "Damn," he swore and the additional perking up of his dick told me he was remembering last night. I smiled and pressed a kiss to the junction of his neck and shoulder.

"Was it that bad?" I asked him, making my voice tremble.

"No, no, of course not, it was amazing, Takara I loved it, don't ever-" He stopped when I started giggling, for the first time in what felt like forever. "You little minx!" He grabbed my hips and twisted us so I was on the bottom, kissing me hard and pressing me into the bed. It wasn't long before we'd progressed beyond kissing and we were going at each other with all the speed and struggles for dominance last night had lacked.

It was an hour later that we started to talk.

"Itachi-kun, you never answered my question." I said. We were lying together, me on my back, him on his side as he played with my hair.

"Which question?" His hand movement stopped being random and started being deliberate. He wasn't relaxed but he was trying to look like he was.

"Why? Why did you leave the way you did, why did you do it?" I asked him. I thought for a moment that he would kiss me again to distract me and I turned so my face was against his chest. I needed to know. Everything he'd done since I saw him yesterday said he was exactly who I thought he was, but I had to know for sure.

"I had to, my love," He replied, sighing. It was a resigned sigh, the kind he gave me when I talked him into something he didn't want to do, like going out with the friends we'd had before. It never mattered anyway; we'd just end up making out until everyone started telling us to 'get a room' rather than socializing. It became almost routine for me to talk him into going out with me and then ending up leaving an hour or two later to find a more private spot to kiss.

"Why did you have to?" I continued inquiring.

"I was ordered to." I stilled in his arms at that before replying in a carefully measured voice, "By whom?"

"The Hokage." It was my turn to abruptly sit up at that statement.

"What!" I shouted.

"The Hokage ordered me to massacre my clan and then join the Akatsuki in order to gain information on them." He answered calmly from his position, sprawled across the bed. He looked perfectly calm.

"You killed your clan, left Konoha –left me- because the Hokage ordered you to? Why?" Oh it made sense. It made absolute perfect sense and meshed what he'd done with who he was perfectly.

"They were planning a coup that would have sent the village into civil war. They had to be dealt with and-" his voice caught "-they were my responsibility to deal with."

I was never wrong. Not about him and I never should have doubted it. That knowledge, that restoration of confidence in myself fixed me more than anything else, even having him back. Knowing that I'd been right about him from the beginning, knowing my judgment was sound, made finally getting my life straight easier to do. The restoration of confidence restored parts of my personality that had laid quiet, shoved aside when I found myself second-guessing everything. Part of what returned was my tendency to make snap-decisions and the assertiveness to do so.

"What did you do with my clothes?" I threw myself off the bed and began looking for what happened to my undergarments and the shirt and pants and shoes Itachi had hidden from me before.

"Takara, what are you doing?" He asked, getting out of bed and coming over to where I was pulling my black panties up my legs. I stood and nearly ran into him. He put his hands on my shoulders and waited for me to answer the question. It was my turn to sigh.

"I'm getting dressed so I can go tell Taichō-sama what you just told me so he can kill the Hokage." I stated and Itachi's hands dropped as he stared at me. I found my bra and put it on, beginning the manhunt for my other clothing.

"Why would he do that?"

"Itachi-kun," I rolled my eyes, "Did you or did you not get chewed out by the man on the basis that you left me?"

"Yes, but…" I cut him short by saying, "No but, he did it. He's taken care of me since you left and he fought vehemently for me not to take on a genin team last year. If he found out that you didn't leave me on purpose, that you had to, he'd probably shift the blame onto the right person. I found my shirt hiding under the chair cushion and pulled it over my head.

"And you think letting your protector murder someone extremely important is a good idea?" He asked as I tugged my pants on.

"I think that I'll do it myself if he'll let me." I replied and he gaped at me as I started tugging on my shoes. What made it funnier was the fact that he was still completely naked, while I was fully dressed.

"Why?" He was so adorable, looking all confused.

"I. Love. You. I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. For Kami's sake Itachi, I would have given you my virginity the night after you left if you had stayed long enough for me to do so!"

"You would have?" Again with the shocked look on his face.

"You're an idiot, you know that? Remind me why we got together?" I rolled my eyes again. I hadn't felt that alive in years. I'd missed arguing with him, missed the passion between us. The fire in him that stoked the fire in me. We fed off each other.

"Because you nearly got yourself killed because of me and I needed you too much to ever let something like that happen again, especially if you didn't know my feelings for you."

"I knew I loved you before I threw myself in the way of that kick. I knew I would rather die than let you get hurt and if it took me dying to protect you, I was okay with that. I knew you were the most important person in my life and that you turned me on every single time I fought you. Do you know how hard it was for me not to kiss you whenever I had you pinned below me? Do you know how hard it was for me not to buck my hips every time you had me pinned? How hard it was not to admit that I wanted us to be more than rivals and sparring partners? Do you understand that I love you and that living without you is extremely hard for me? That you leaving broke me into so many pieces because I couldn't trust myself because I couldn't believe what you'd done?"

Itachi walked towards me then, wrapping me up in his arms. I hugged him back and he put his lips next to my ear. "Do you remember the mission to Kawari, right before we became captains of our own teams?"

I nodded and blushed. That particular mission had been extraordinarily embarrassing for me. I had to dress like a stripper and lure a mark out so he could be captured and interrogated, as we weren't allowed to draw attention to what we were doing. I'd been on a team of six but I'd been the only girl, and all of the guys had seen me in that get up. Thankfully, Itachi was the only one to see me actually strip anything off. I'd tried to suppress that memory.

"It took every ounce of will power I had not to pull you off stage, throw you into a wall and fuck you until you were screaming my name and begging me to make you cum," I shuddered at his words -that sounded really, really fun- but he continued. "And then every single time I saw you after that I had to stop myself from doing the same thing, over and over. I lived on cold showers and long sessions jerking off to that memory, simply because I couldn't have you, or at least, I didn't think I could. And then when you nearly died… I wouldn't have survived without you, not with knowing it would've been my fault. I had to kiss you then, had to let you know how glad I was you were okay. And then in ANBU headquarters… it was all I could do to stop myself from taking you farther than a simple kiss and acting out my fantasy, especially once you proved receptive to my advances. I took you away from there and to dinner because I thought if we were in public, you'd be safe from me deciding I'd had enough and you needed to be fucked so I could claim you properly. I've been in love with you for years now, my love, years. And if anything happened to you I would kill myself. You need to live for me, or I will follow you into the dark. Kami-sama knows it is only the thought of you that lets me do this, to work among those who once tried to harm you -us. I swear to you my love, I will kidnap you as often as need be, but you have to keep yourself safe. If you don't, I will not last. I cannot last. I love you. I swear to Kami-sama and Shinigami-sama I love you."

"Itachi, why didn't you tell me this years ago?" I pulled back just enough to look at him. Had I known he had that much feeling for me, that much need pent up inside him, I might have reacted much differently to what happened. Or maybe I would have fallen harder and farther, thinking I'd been played and used. I really don't know.

"By the time I thought you wouldn't run if I told you the Hokage had given me my orders and I didn't want to hurt you by making you think I lied." He caressed my face.

"Why didn't you tell me the orders you were given?"

"I thought," He steeled himself and I prepared myself to really not like his answer, "I thought you didn't need me as much as I needed you. I thought you would have gotten over me quickly and then been happy without me, that telling you would simply hold you back. You always seemed so independent, so fierce."

"I don't think I realized until you left exactly how much I needed you, how much of my ability to thrive depended on having you as a rock. We were never apart until you left. Even during the worst of our arguments, we were still together. I always had you there for me- remember the shit that happened with Kuuki Endo?"

"Of course I remember that fucking asshole. He didn't seem to understand the word 'no' until I beat it into him." He growled and his arm around my waist tightened.

"I think that was the sweetest thing you ever did for me." I smiled softly at him, cupping his cheek. "We'd just finished one of our worst arguments and you still stuck up for me, beat up a guy for me even though you didn't talk to me for a week after that. Even angry you were there for me."

"You were my friend and he didn't think I was willing to prove that." He smirked back and pecked my lips.

"Exactly. Even without admitting it, we were friends, we were there for each other. I needed you for support, for the simple fact you were the only person I had. I leaned on that, even subconsciously. Without it, I broke, especially because you leaving the way you did made me lose confidence in myself. I need you Itachi-kun. You keep me sane." He just held me then, his arms tight around me, my head against his shoulder.

"Let me get dressed and we'll go back to Konoha and talk with your commander. If he cares about you as much as he seems to, he'll help us set things up so that we can see each other." Itachi spoke several minutes later.

"Itachi-kun?" I questioned.

"Yes?"

"Can we get something to eat first?" He grinned at that and I couldn't help but grin in return.

"Of course." He got dressed with a barely noticeable smile and we went back to Konoha. Taichō-sama was upset that I'd been gone so long but the smile on my face and the fact I'd eaten voluntarily (he made sure to ask if I'd eaten and Itachi told him that I had) pleased him. The three of us figured out a way that I could see Itachi on a regular basis and I started on the actual path to recovery.

Naruto, Hinata and Sasuke ended up staying under me until the next chūnin exams, which they passed with flying colors. All three of them noticed a change in me but none of them knew why. After they became chūnin (and technically they were still ANBU), they acted half in, and half out of ANBU. They took missions together and with other teams, although Taichō-sama made them keep the training rotation. It took them about a year and a half to achieve Jōnin rank and then Taichō-sama brought them back in as full ANBU. They even got to skip rookie training. They'd done it enough times by then all of them could probably teach it in their sleep

Itachi came to see me as often as he could, especially when I was out on missions. Taichō-sama started letting me take solo A-ranks on occasion, deciding I could now be trusted to eat, sleep and avoid unnecessary risks without being watched constantly. When Itachi and I met up it was almost like old times: we'd spar and the winner would get control for the round of sex that would follow (apparently both of us have a masochistic side and fighting each other leaves me dripping and him rock hard). Often we'd talk and he'd pass along information. I'd tell him what the kiddies were up to (he likes Naruto, thinks Hinata's probably the him-aka one of the only decent members- of the Hyuuga, and Sasuke's his brother after all) and what people we used to know were up to.

Taichō-sama adopted me about a year after Itachi and I rekindled our relationship. He said that he had no family and I was like a daughter to him. If anything happened to him, he wanted me to be his heir. I was shocked but I agreed. He spent years keeping me safe and as close to healthy as possible. I was grateful and he truly is the closest thing to a father I've ever known. It didn't change much between us. He taught me some things he'd learned from his family, and we spent a little more time together. I say a little because we'd already spent a good deal of the time I was in Konoha together when I wasn't busy with the kiddies. I often did portions of his paperwork and I took his appointments for him if he was stuck in a council meeting. I basically got groomed to be his successor and years later I wonder if that is part of the reason he never wanted me to be Hokage- he trained me for his job, he didn't want to lose someone he'd spent so much effort on to another position.

Three years after the invasion, the Akatsuki pushed at Itachi to get Naruto. We had protocols in place for this by then, thanks to his intel. Everything cumulated in an attack on Konoha by the Akatsuki and Taichō-sama okayed him to rejoin us, since it was us or them. It shocked the hell out of everyone but me, Taichō-sama and the Sandaime. He never even told Tsunade-sama the truth about he massacre, but he did at least explain it to the entire village afterwards.

Sasuke was pissed that I had known and hadn't told him, but Naruto talked him around. He and Hinata accepted Itachi since it was his information that saved Naruto. Itachi got brought back into ANBU and we shared a room. Most people, especially those who had known us before, were surprised because once he came back I finished reverting to almost how I was when he left, with the added maturity of the past few years and more control over my reactions. Those who had spent the last few years caring for me were pissed at him for causing me to be depressed in the first place but they warmed to him once they realized I was stable with him there, more so than I'd ever been when they'd known me. I was happier, livelier and more willing to socialize with him around. I was happy, truly and completely.

We married two years after he came back. Two years after that I gave birth to our first child and several more followed. I made a pyramid. We had our oldest son, then our twin girls, then the triplets, which had two boys and a girl. There were some interesting pictures with that set up.

I took over as ANBU commander when Taichō-sama retired. He ended up being the kids' main babysitter, so they all were trained from a young age. We made them excellent; we just refused to put them into the field until they were 12. Of course, with the three of us they were all ANBU level, or at least close, by the time they were genin. All of them were officially ANBU before their sixteenth birthdays and we kept as much of an eye on their mental health as we could. Itachi started up the Konoha Military Police again, but opened it up to more personnel than just Uchihas. With only he and Sasuke they would've been swamped. He's happier than ever now that he spends his time keeping Konoha safe without having to murder people to do it.

As for my kiddies, Hinata and Naruto married and had two children, a boy and a girl. Both took after Naruto in looks and disposition, but with their mom's kekki genkai. Naruto became the Rokudaime while Hinata ran her clan. She got rid of the Caged Bird Seal and even her father was proud of her, something that shocked most of her clan to no end. She also managed to develop a new branch of her clan's taijutsu, increasing it's effectiveness in combat.

Sasuke helped Itachi with the police force, but stayed an active shinobi. He dropped out of ANBU and ran missions as a jōnin, deciding he'd had enough of the masks. He finally decided that Ino wasn't as bad as he'd thought she was and married her, which prompted everyone to wonder if the Uchiha men had a thing for blonde women. I think he went looking for a kunoichi who he could eventually love who would also give him strong children, but who knows. Ino and I do look something alike, which means that their three children, all girls, and ours all look like siblings. Same clan name… they get mixed up a lot, especially since their oldest is the same age as my twins, and the youngest two are only ten months apart, making them mostly the same age or so as my triplets.

We're happy now, all of us. I'm still on the lean side but with all the weight I gained from having multiples, I'm not anywhere close to anorexic anymore. I think I have the only husband in the world who likes my body better now than he did before the kids. I love him, he loves me and we have a large, happy, chaotic family.

I was broken once, but I am no longer. Those who love me put in the work to help me become whole again and I will never stop being grateful they did. I love my life, my husband my family. Perhaps who I am today is not the same person I would have been otherwise but I don't care.

I trust myself and I trust Itachi.

As long as I have that, I will be okay.

Ja ne,

Uchiha Takara


End file.
